So far, this blog has only talked about legitimate candidates for the presidency. This week, I would like to talk about the political views of television show characters on the various issues we have covered so far. I will frame each topic below as a debate among three of the following characters: Cookie Monster, Donald Trump, Mickey Mouse, Stannis Baratheon, and Pop-Eye.
On Healthcare
Mental Health
Stannis Baratheon has suffered crippling depression himself, especially after the Battle of Blackwater. He believes that faith is a cure for mental illness.
Donald Trump doesn't much care for faith or the mentally ill.
Pop-Eye believes that the cure for all illnesses is spinach.
Coverage and Affordability
Donald Trump wants to eliminate the individual mandate, but otherwise keep ObamaCare. This would raise the cost of healthcare to an unaffordable level for most Americans, but he has a plan to deal with this: import drugs from Canada.
Pop-Eye says that spinach is inexpensive enough already, and solves all medical problems.
Mickey Mouse's name is synonymous with health plans which do not cover enough, but his corporation actually provides high quality health care for its workers. It is unclear whether he would extend this quality to the rest of the country.
Preventative Care
Cookie Monster is a hypocrite. When it comes to himself, "C is for COOKIE and that's good enough for me", but when it comes to anyone else, "Cookies are a sometimes food."
Pop-Eye appears to believe that preventive care is unnecessary if you have access to spinach.
Stannis Baratheon doesn't really believe in prevention, risking everything on a brutal war and sacrificing his own daughter to an evil god in exchange for victory which never comes.
Crime
Prisons and Sentencing
Stannis Baratheon believes in capital punishment for people who question his religion.
Donald Trump believes that reporters should be punished for reporting the truth about him, verifiable by videos of his own statements.
Woe be to anyone who gets between Cookie Monster and a cookie.
Corruption and White Collar Crime
Stannis Baratheon believes that anyone who has committed any act of corruption should be removed from power. He is the only candidate in the War of Five Kings who took his responsibility as king seriously, and defended the Northern Wall against the external threat from the North.
Mickey Mouse doesn't approve of the "soul-less" management of some of the CEOs who have taken over his company.
Donald Trump has committed so many white collar crimes that they can't figure out which ones to prosecute. He bragged about attempting to commit election fraud in a televised debate in the spring.
Guns and Violent Crime
Pop-Eye doesn't think we need guns, unless you include the guns between his incredible muscles.
Donald Trump thinks that all violent crime is due to Muslims, a group which includes more doctors and nurses per capita than any group other than Jews.
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